Hey there everyone. Sorry I haven’t been on here telling you about life. I have been in a place where I am seeing deep reflection. I am also learning some painful things about myself. I am not going to dwell on that but I am going to say that I need to stop looking for everyone else’s approval and just do what is going to make me happy without questioning it. That is why I started this journey to begin with because I just wanted to start living life for me but in the back of my mind the first thing that I thought of before making any decision is what would you think of that choice.
The last few days when I have been thinking about all that I have been through it has been a time of immense pain and a lot of crying. The things that I thought that I was over I guess I wasn’t. So I am working through that I realize I am not in control and I just need to let go and let God have control so that I can have peace.
I don’t want to be suffering through these things forever acting like im ok when im not. I will be and will have an amazing story to share with people who have gone through what I have. I know some of you are probably thinking well why haven’t you gotten ahold of me? The reason I haven’t is because these things are about me and I need to work through them.
Today I look to the future with hope and anticipation. I know that there amazing things in front of me. I also choose to be happy. It is a choice. I know that I am beautiful. I am worthy of love. I am worth more than I have allowed myself. This is my life and my journey that I am on and I am realizing that I need to quit worrying about everyone and everything and just trust that this is for me and my life. I hope that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong I still need love and support but most of all I need to find me.
I need love and support that don’t come with a set of conditions attached to it.
I heard this at the end of a Taylor Swift video and it hit deep.
“I don’t know if you know who you are until you lose who you are.”
This is where I feel like I am.
Keep moving towards the future with positive energy and thoughts.